The Indian Mother & Separation Anxiety

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Yay!! So I’m finally getting to enjoy the holidays as I envisioned them, relaxing and reading to my heart’s content, waking up at my own will, all the wonderful things I mentioned in my previous post… well … be careful what you wish for…

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I expect that most mothers and especially the new mothers know exactly what the ‘traditional’ type of separation anxiety is. Definition according to Wikipedia: “Separation Anxiety Disorder is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment, involves inappropriate display of fear and distress when faced with separation. “ Most of us are aware that children are the most likely sufferers.

I have just discovered along my journey of motherhood, an aspect of this ‘Separation Anxiety’ that nobody mentioned to me. This is when the mother begins to have symptoms of anxiety at the thought of her children being without her for an allocated time.

Hi my name is Maryam Bibi and I suffer from secondary separation anxiety… It has been 6 days since I broke up a fight, since my children last spilled things in my kitchen, and woke me up super early. (Murphy’s law ofcourse, my eyes open at 7am everyday this week without fail)

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My boys are currently on holiday with their 2 aunts at my mum’s home, having a ball of a time I might add. Here I am… suppose to be enjoying the holiday I envisioned… and ironically finding it not half as exciting as I expected it to be. Ok ok, I admit it…. those little munchkins keep me going with all their nonsensical chatter during the day. Don’t get me wrong… I am enjoying the peace… well I was enjoying the peace… until I realised how eerily quiet it is, and when I found myself trying to find things to do to pass the time. I have my crafts and reading, and once I’d done coffee with a friend, trips to the beautician and hair-dresser, I realised I was actually getting a bit bored… fortunately I snapped out of that and realised I had better make the most of the peace and quiet before my house and my life turns into a merry-go-round again.

I’m glad that I have boys who are so secure and show such independence in leaving me and spending time with others that love them so dearly… it’s exactly what I wanted for them, but I have to admit- a very small part of me is a little sad… a little sad that my children are happily going on without me, that there was no real fuss, or extended hugs when saying goodbye, or multitudes of phone calls and voice notes to annoy me… while poor old, anxious me pines away 😦 … all alone (*sniff*)… counting the days ’til they get home and make me happily miserable again… while comforting myself with another piece of chocolate (any excuse for chocolate-oh who am I kidding, since when do I need an excuse for chocolate?!) 😉

Ah well….. I’m an Indian mother…. it’s in my blood and part of my job description to feel sorry for myself and guilt my kids when they leave and have fun without me…. this is my training for the future 😉 #Indian Mother
~BiBi~
**Enjoy the holidays, drive safely if you’re travelling and see you in the New Year… looking forward to 2014! Lots of exciting things to come, Insha Allah (God willing)**

dwarfs