How in the world do you (we) do it? Having welcomed my third miracle into this world I have realised that many things have changed- about myself as well as the world I welcomed her into.
Just to fill you in, I’m giving up my Saturday afternoon nap to type this, I don’t think you can fully appreciate how much of a sacrifice that is. Unless of course, you’re a mother of more than one. Don’t get me wrong, having one isn’t easy, but it is manageable. You can split duties between two people, giving you some free time.
Having two babies is well, a little more challenging, you still split duties but your plate is filled to the brim, and free time, is a scarce commodity, especially if you bravely (or foolishly- remember …fine line 😉 ) decided you want a small gap between your children (guilty as charged) .
Now having three…wow…well…this is a whole different ball game. I have to contend with a school going child, which, along with mothering a little girl, is all very new to me. There are school runs, pick up and drop offs, homework, additional activities and so much more. I have a few angels who have come to my rescue with school drop offs and pickups. And I honestly have no idea what I would have done without them (Julia and Cleo).
I still do the drive to preschool at 8am looking like a bus ran over me, throwing on whatever I can find. No seriously… anything that matches and fits makes the cut- in fact I’m quite flexible regarding the matching thing. I’m in that “post maternity clothing being too big, but early pregnancy clothing being too small” phase.
I am also a feeding machine, anytime… all the time, which I’m trying very hard to appreciate as my mother constantly reminds me how fast they get through this stage. I suppose the irony is that that when you’re in the ‘stage’, there isn’t much else you can actually think about other than sleep… not forgetting the fact that there needs to somehow be food to eat and groceries that need to be refilled in that ever-empty pantry.
So I ask you mothers… that have somehow survived this third baby syndrome and possibly, successfully gone on to have a fourth – how in the world are you doing it? How? No seriously, I need to know!
I have come to appreciate my own mother a little more. Having grown up 5 daughters, I’ve asked her how she did it- her reply was quite simple, she loved having children, but she was never alone in her endeavour of mothering 5 children. She always had extended family, mother, aunts, and uncles, cousins that were all engaged and involved in raising us, especially in the early years. I have the fondest memories of post office runs with my grandmothers brother (Papa -who is now late), going to school with my mum’s cousin (Saabera) while she was a teacher. I spent a large amount of time with my grandmother, her sister and her sister in law (Apa/Hajee bhen) and if one thing stands out for me, I remember being loved. I was loved by these diverse men and women.
That’s how she did it, with a lot of effort on her part and through the support and love of the people that surrounded her. We had no need for flat screen TV’s, or playstations. I realise now how important it is for my children to receive all the love they can, from everyone who is willing to show them love.
I am a mother, mothering in a unique environment, with unique challenges and as a nuclear family- which is now the norm. Mother, father, children.
We are fortunate enough to have the children’s grandparents and additional family, living nearby, which is a huge bonus, so obviously I have it a little easier than others; I have to acknowledge that, even in my sleep deprived state.
It has become more complicated though, the children want fancy toys, multiple entertainment options and it seems that we may have contributed to the ‘I want’ syndrome through ‘our wants.’
The plus side is- there is a plus side (ha bet you didn’t see that coming 😉 ). The plus side is that as we near the end of the first term in school, I managed to finally make it to school with some make up on- albeit basic eyeliner and my new favourite ‘chubby stick’ lip colour. Ok ok, I admit it that is all I had access to since I took it to hospital with me eight weeks ago, hoping to look slightly more decent in the post birth photographs. Just so you know- that idea was an epic fail, and I resolved myself to the the super swollen, triple chin, drug induced smile, make-up-less look. The other plus is that the third time around, I seem to feel like I kind of know what I’m doing. I am not as frazzled by the crying, I’m not anxious around her, she seems to be calmer, which may be due to the fact that I am calmer.
I guess what I’m saying is that it has somehow, it has become easier and at the same time more difficult – Know what I mean?
Until I find time to blog again…
* A super special thank you to Julia and Cleo who have been lifesavers over the last 8 weeks, there no words to express how grateful I am to have you in my life. Your kindness will never be forgotten. I am forever in your debt and will have to find some way of repaying you.
**And of course to the helpful husband who rocked and walked with the little one allowing me time to actually type this all out… we will now have to swap- so he can proof read 😉 making this third baby thing work, somehow… someway