**WARNING- The following post may cause emotional changes to women considering motherhood and sensitive readers 😛 **
***Disclaimer- I will not be held responsible for these changes 😉 ***
If you think this post is about the environment you are mistaken. This ‘green’ is a very different shade indeed.
If you remember watching cartoons you will know that the characters usually turn green when feeling ill. Being a mother requires having quite a strong stomach. Unfortunately I haven’t been blessed with one. I’m sure I was out shoe shopping on the day that this program was installed into the already existing ‘Mommy Program’. Therefore dealing with the different bodily fluids usually leaves me running, teary eyed, in the opposite direction, shouting for someone else’s (husband or helper) while gagging, pointing and hand-fanning myself (I’m not sure how that’s suppose to help).
I discovered that this is not restricted to humans, as I had a similar reaction when my puppy was car sick as we transported him to my dad. Everyone present seemed to find it amusing as I walked around in circles, hand-fanning myself (again?!), trying extremely hard not to throw up.
But these tendencies run in my family, so I blame genetics. My sisters suffer from the same problems and car sickness (ah so that’s where my 3yr old gets it from). I remember as a child it was a known fact that if one of us gets sick and throws up, it’s usually followed by the rest of us throwing up as well- meaning piles of cleaning up for my parents. To this day I wonder how they coped with it. My oldest sister has the full version of the ‘Mommy program and I often admire her strength during stomach turning moments. My older son has inherited my sensitivity in this regard, and I recall when his brother was just a few months old, and brought up some of his milk (as babies often do ), he came to me, face wrinkled, gagging, saying to me ,” Mummy….(gag)….boy….(gag) made oolti (vomit)!” Yes, we referred to the baby as ‘Boy’ for a while. He has adapted though, and on a recent drive home, when his brother was car sick, I found my 5 yr old looking out of the window happily chatting to himself and completely ignoring the chaos next to him. It seems, if he doesn’t see it… it doesn’t bother him 🙂
I began watching the comedy series ‘How I met your met your mother’ and I discovered the “Olive Theory” which I happen to believe in. The Olive Theory is based on the concept that in every relationship there needs to balance. Therefore in this respect, one person loves olives while the other does not. In this manner there is peace in the relationship as there is an understanding of who eats what when presented with a bowl of Greek salad. This theory has been proven in my home and brings me to my ‘Oolti’ (vomit) theory, which functions on the same level as the Olive Theory. This has also been proven in my home as my husband deals with the bloody noses and gastro phases.
I have evolved somewhat and have learnt to cope with some of these situations on my own. Or at least I have been forced to. Just when I thought I was beginning to make progress I was faced with a ‘this only happens to a mother’ situation.
My son had a small bout of gastro on my recent visit to my mum’s home that began at about 11 pm. I dealt with it the entire night and it seemed to settle down. The next day I decided to give him a meal as he had not eaten well and seemed to be recovering from the bug. As I fed him he began feeling uncomfortable but I did not pick up on it. Some food had fallen out of the plate so I bent down to pick it up and at that exact moment my son threw up…directly into my hair and ear. I stood frozen for a second, my neurons racing to make sense of the wetness that had just hit me. The look on my face seems to have said it all to my wide eyed son standing beside me. I dropped the plate in my hand and made a dash to the bathroom leaving my son starring after me. Upon my return, my son quietly said to me,” Sorry mummy… I made oolti in your hair.” Murphy’s Law, I had just washed my hair about 30 minutes before this.
I did feel bad for him and looking at his face, puppy dog eyes, I had no choice but to accept his apology. Fortunately my sisters weren’t there…so the clean up was limited to one persons stomach contents. I did manage to see the humorous side to this disgusting incident-but this has unfortunately set me back slightly in my battle against going green!
~~ BiBi ~~